241. Facing Average

It's a Friday night and good ol' Chick Fil A is packed. The hubbs and I are hungry and neither one of us are in a cooking mood. So we find ourselves in a parking lot so packed we decide to go inside, hoping we'll get our food a little faster.

While in line I see a woman who I went to high school with. I literally have not seen her since I was probably 17 years old. It's been a good minute. Although the exchange was pleasant, I'm going to be honest. I was upset with myself. UPSET.

Not only am I looking a hot mess, thinking I'm going to go in and come right out (so vain I know), but I just realize something.

This entire post may seem so silly, but I was upset that I felt so average. I just knew that by the time I reached my current age I'd be doing something amazing with myself. And, it's not for bragging rights, either. I just looked at myself and just thought I should be much further along in my goals. 

Yes, I've accomplished some decent things in the past, but I don't want to live off of a couple of 20something-year-old accomplishments. What about now?

Again, this post may seem silly. Maybe it is. But, I felt like I was looking at myself outside of my body viewing an average person. And, it pissed me off. I want much more out of life. I want to be able to wake up and travel where I want, when I want. I want to be able to give my family, husband, and community more. I want to be more of a contributor. 

Is this a "woe is me" post? No, of course not. I just wrote about how having that mentality doesn't bring about positive change. However, I will say that I believe this post is about self-assessment. Where am I in life? How can I get the things that I want? How can I be more of a producer instead of a consumer? 

I will not allow this encounter to bother me. I take it as another push to move me into the direction that I want to be in. I even walked away from the restaurant saying to myself, "Ash, just let it go."

That I did. Time to work, not sulk.