Even with these two Benadryl tablets swimming in my system, relieving me of an unfortunate allergic reaction (while also threatening to make me feel drowsy), I am pumped. PUMPED. Like opening up an amazing Christmas present pumped. Like getting a good health report pumped. Like getting tax refund money pumped. So, what's the meaning behind my excitement?
PRODUCTIVITY. It can do that to you, you know?
I've been waking up at 6 a.m. That sounds pretty late to an early riser. My goal has been a 4 a.m. wake up time, but as of late I've found that to be impractical, especially since I've been going to bed around 1 a.m. Yes, you've read right: Work for approximately 18-19 hours (averaging in a few breaks here and there), and sleep for about 5-6 hours. I have my reasons for doing this, but I digress.
Anyways, today I:
Re-wrote the first half of chapter 25 for Hot Like Fire. When the words began to pour out, I just knew letting the novel sit was the thing to do.
Paid bills and budgeted (because that's always important)
Ran a plethora of errands (see the previous bullet)
Read a chapter of Wednesday Wars (historical, middle grade fiction)
Cooked (currently doing this at the moment; the oven's going, so that's how this whole multi-tasking thing is possible).
And guess what? The day isn't over. It's days like these that makes you happy.
There's something else that's making me happy right now. I went on Twitter to find that some of the hashtags had to deal with Black History. First of all, I love Black History. I just love reading, studying, and following in the footsteps of great people who've been shut out of the history books, making a living whether or not mainstream acceptance was a part of the deal.
Each and every time I read a story about entrepreneurship, community building, and education as it relates to an entire group of people who weren't even considered human beings, well, it fuels me to be great. And you know what?
That resilient, warrior-like, brilliant, and creative spirit rests on the inside of me. It's one of the main reasons I write.
Some of my ancestors (a whole lot of them actually), didn't have an opportunity to have what I have. They weren't able to afford what I can afford. They didn't have the opportunity to do the things I do. However, with a fraction of the resources, their intelligent minds, fighting spirits, and sheer determination allowed them to accomplish things that would be hard for the regular mind to handle. With that being said,
I have ZERO excuses to not being successful. ZERO. The odds are truly with me.
It would make no sense for me to live and not be able to see the life I've always wanted to live knowing that people before me sacrificed for me to get to this point. That is why I will never deny my unique heritage, will not minimize the accomplishments of those before me, and I will not stop going after what I want -- being the best in my field.
That's the precise reason why in this day and age, I am not going to sit around, murmur and complain. I'm going full steam ahead with my endeavors. Blogging daily has been absolutely awesome for discipline purposes, and I'm LOVING being back in the groove of writing. This is the main reason why I LOVE my debut novel being about the Harlem Renaissance. Reading about them as a child made me believe that I, too, could be great.
One more thing, representation does matter. It's extremely important to note that some young people don't go after certain dreams placed in their hearts because they don't believe they can do it. They believe the negative images they've been conditioned to believe since birth. Movies that tell us we can't do for ourselves, we're only good at sports and entertainment, that being "intelligent" is for other backgrounds -- whatever it is, representation tells us different.
It tells us that the history we've been rightfully denied, thanks to flawed textbooks, is not the story that will move us to greatness. And although I know full well that history is shaped by those in power and we have to be responsible for teaching young kids outside of schools, I know for a fact that it doesn't hurt to push for representation that represents all walks of life in our classroom and in our community.
I'm so excited about everything because I know that I know that I KNOW that it's time. It's time for me to finally be the person I've always wanted to be. As a matter of fact, I already believe I'm walking in that dream right now. I wake up happy every morning, albeit sleepy at times, and the motivation that lights the fire inside of me everyday, preventing me from hitting the snooze and staying in bed, is the realization that it only goes up from here.
Fueled by the spirit of my ancestors, I am a next generation creator, and my legacy will honor the forgotten.